Coaching Matters, And So Does Tim Tebow

Wild Card Weekend wasn’t particularly wild until, well, you all know what happened last night. The internet blew up because of some Tebow guy, and the rest of this past weekend’s playoff games took a back seat to him. Since Tim Tebow presided the weekend, he’s taking center stage today. But let’s first look at what would’ve been the topic of conversation if he didn’t captivate the universe: Coaching travesties.

Coaching matters. If you don’t believe me, ask the Cincinnati Bengals (or their fans) how Marvin Lewis’ coaching performance on Saturday fared compared to, say, Sean Payton’s or John Fox’s.

With 10:44 left in the second quarter against the Houston Texans, Bengals running back Cedric Benson failed to achieve a first down on a second-and-two run play. Marvin Lewis decided to throw a challenge flag to dispute the spot of the ball.

Before we even get to the outcome of this challenge, why in the world would an NFL coach elect to challenge a ball spot just minutes into the second quarter in a PLAYOFF GAME? Referees make mistakes. They’re old and possessed by Roger Goodell in some way or another. They don’t make the right calls most of the time anymore. You’re telling me that you couldn’t use that challenge on something more significant later in the game? Sometime, say, in the second half? Lewis lost the challenge, then dialed up an Andy Dalton sneak and converted on third-and-one regardless. Nice challenge, Marvin. Gotta use 'em sometime.

When he did decide to use his second and final challenge, it was with five minutes remaining in the first half. Even better timing! Houston tight end Owen Daniels had made an exceptional catch while falling to the turf on third-and-four. The catch did seem refutable, but even so, a second challenge was not worth risking with a 10-7 lead in a tight game. The Bengals lost both challenges in meaningless moments, and the most meaningful moment happened minutes after the final challenge was lost – J.J. Watt’s interception at the line of scrimmage, which was returned for a touchdown just before half. Karma surfaced during a questionable Houston interception in a two-touchdown game with seven minutes remaining. But it couldn’t be challenged, because ball-spot disputes are more important.

But wait, we’re not done! In a 24-10 game with 13:30 remaining (still manageable for the Bengals because of their stout defense), Cincinnati lined up to punt on fourth-and-three. Texans head coach Gary Kubiak calls a timeout, and when the teams come out of that timeout, Marvin Lewis sends the offense out on the field! And you know what happens? Andy Dalton throws an interception.

The Bengals lost 31-10, and coaching probably wasn’t the only reason for the beating, but it sure had a lot to do with the demoralization of this team as the game progressed. As a player, you have to feel down every time your coach loses a challenge. If you think about it as a game of tug-of-war, it gradually pulls your confidence away. Once Dalton threw that pick on fourth-and-three, they fell in the pit. It was over. I didn’t even watch after that. I probably shouldn’t have watched the Falcons stink up the joint the next day either.

Head coach Mike Smith of the Atlanta Falcons chose to go for it twice on fourth down in field goal range against the Giants yesterday. Both were at key points in which the Falcons had the game in reach. Both were quarterback sneaks, one of which was in a formation with no running back behind quarterback Matt Ryan.

Smith elected to go for it the first time on fourth-and-one at the New York Giants’ 24-yard line to start the second quarter, then punted on the next possession on fourth-and-one and the Giants’ 42. Huh? That’s supposed to make sense? You would rather pooch punt in opposing territory than kick a field goal in more advantageous opposing territory? I don’t mind the pooch punt, but when you go for it the possession prior in that circumstance, it makes you look like you have absolutely no rhyme or reason to what you’re doing as a game manager. But wait, we’re not done!

Subsequent the second failed fourth down attempt, which came with 7:51 left in the third quarter, Eli Manning threw a 72-yard touchdown pass to Hakeem Nicks. It was a magnificent catch and run by Nicks, and it immediately followed Mike Smith’s final horrendous decision of the season. Karma calls. Nicks did the Dirty Bird after the touchdown in his honor. It was a fantastic sequence. The Falcons could’ve been down 10-8 at the end of the third quarter, instead they scored two points in the game for those two dumb fourth down calls.

So, obviously, coaching matters in the NFL. If Mike Smith gets fired in the next two years (which he should), some coach is going to stumble upon some nice talent. But you know what else matters? Tim Tebow. More than we could’ve ever imagined. He’s taken the world by storm and has found a place in my man-crush roster. Here are my favorite Tebow moments from last night’s game, followed by compelling reactions across the internet and from my friends:

Tebow’s 51-yard pass on third-and-12 at the beginning of the second quarter. Take a look at the meme on the right. This is the vaunted Conspiracy Keanu. Not only is this specific one hilarious, but there was also a very good chance that it was an accurate conspiracy theory before this play transpired. Tebow had been struggling all game until this beautiful deep bomb – his first of the game. It rendered everyone’s first “TEEEBOWWW!!!” exclamation of the night. He followed with an exceptionally gorgeous touchdown throw on the very next play to Eddie Royal, and we all started to believe that the Broncos could actually win. It was the first time you could say that about Denver and Tim Tebow before the fourth quarter all season.

Tebow’s touchdown run to extend Denver’s lead to 8 at 14-6. Tebow and Cam Newton are the best goal-to-go quarterbacks in the NFL. Newton is obviously better because his throwing ability is more of a concern for defenses, but when the Broncos are in those goal-to-go situations, a Tebow run out of the shotgun is virtually unstoppable. It’s exciting to watch every time because Tebow exudes determination through the entire run, and continues that passion until he’s done pouring out his adrenaline on the sidelines. If it’s not compelling to you, then I don’t know what else to say.

Tebow’s game-winning throw in overtime. Just watch it. It earned a spot on “The List” that still doesn’t have a name. He made it based on every single condition presented, most notably the “Pristine Nostalgia” condition and the overall reaction he caused. Who didn't yell "TEEEEEBOWWWWW!!!!" after that play? He made the new overtime rule insignificant because of it. And he blew up the internet. Here’s how it went down over my Twitter feed:

• “Of course. New overtime rules. Tebow. Of course” -- @LeBatardShow
• “I love how the new overtime rules are gonna lose their virginity with Tebow.” – Bill Simmons (Funniest tweet of the night.)
• “CRIZAZLEBEANS” – Jonah Keri (When the internet started to blow.)
• “!!!!” – Tony Reali
• “Swag. Them. Out” – Michael Smith
• “OMG. Really Tebow?” – Dylan Terry (That’s my brother. Follow him.)
• “Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! And good night” – Michelle Beadle
• “Oh my gracious!!!!!” – Marty Smith
• “TEBOWWWWWW!!!!!!” – Me
• “Wow!” – Chris Broussard
• “THE INTERNET IS ABOUT TO SHATTER!” – Jim Rome (Turns out it did. Tebow broke the record for sports-related tweets per second at 9,420. That’s an INSANE number.)
• “NO FUCKING WAY!!!!! Teeeeebowwwwww!” – my buddy Chris (Follow him. You’ll read some hilarious stuff from him below.)
• “Tebowtime trumped overtime.” – Adam Schefter
• “Of course” -- @LeBatardShow
• “Teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-bowwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” – Bill Simmons
• “Like I said #TEBOW! Time to start Tebowing folks” – LeBron James
• “John Elway sold his soul to the devil for that win.” -- @JhovanyBrorez (Follow him. His tweets are all like this: They don’t always make total sense, which makes them hysterically funny.)
• “LOUD NOISES!!!!!!” -- @john_a_parker (Follow him. I know him through sacstatesports.com and this was a priceless tweet. Obvious Anchorman reference in the midst of the internet screaming Tebow. Brilliant.)
• “Turn it up to 11!” – Tony Reali (Woody Paige at his finest in that link.)
• “That was the quickest overtime game in NFL history, regular season or postseason" -- @ESPNStatsInfo
• “Dick TeBeau (LeBeau) never gave Tebow the respect he earned during this game. BACK YOUR SAFETIES UP. HOF coach got clowned today” – Jason Whitlock
• “Jesus has now moved all church services worldwide to Saturdays so he can watch Tim #Tebow” – My buddy Chris (again)
• “I Really Did Not Know Who Or What The Fuck A Tebow Was Until 4 Minutes Ago.” – Tyler, The Creator (Very significant because Tyler doesn’t care about much of anything.)
• “Tebow passed for 3:16 yards… I’ve seen fucking everything. Life is so much stranger than fiction” – Jason Whitlock (Yes, yes it is.)

I had a fantasy basketball draft a couple hours after the conclusion of the game. The fantasy drafts that my friends and I have are always the best. As you would expect, Tebow was the topic of conversation before it started. Here are the best Tebow-related quotes from our message thread:

My buddy Matt (in response to us talking about one of our fiends still hating Tebow): “Hating Tebow is like hating Jesus. Because Tebow is Jesus.”
Chris: “And if you hate Jesus, then you’re a dick. Tim Christ Jesus Tebow.”

Chris: “What would Tebow do? WWTD”

Matt: “Tebow 3:16 says, ‘For God Loved the world that he gave us Tebow’” (Follow him.)

Chris: “We will now have two Christmases because we will celebrate Tebow’s birthday. August 14 is a national holiday now”

Chris: “Is Tebow available in this draft?”
Matt: “He should be”
Chris: “Steve Francis is… That’s a hot pickup”
Me: “Tebow already go picked” (The draft hadn’t started yet.)
Chris: “Fuck”
Me: “Steve Martin > Steve Francis”

Me: “I can’t wait to write about Tebow tonight” (I got lazy and waited until today.)
Chris: “Tim Tebow Kaman Terry’s Mouth” (Inside joke relating to fantasy basketball team names with Chris Kaman involved. Example: Chris Kaman *insert name here*’s Mouth.)
Me: “I FOUND MY TEAM NAME!!!! THANK GOD FOR CHRIS!!!! And Tebow”
Matt: Thank Tebow for Chris. Thank Tebow for God.”

Yup, I’d say Tim Tebow matters.